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If I Only Had a Spine (The Harry Reid Theme song)
(Parody of “If I Only Had a Brain” from Wizard of Oz)
　
I could pass some legislation, without much hesitation
And everything’d be fine.
I could push it through the senate
Grab a vote from Hatch or Bennett
If I only had a spine.
I could be somewhat specific, yes that would be terrific
And our cause I could define.
With some guts you could do it
And not just muddle through it
If you only had a spine.
Oh, I could tell you why we need to do much more.
I’d probably not be such a wimpy bore
When I go out to take the floor
I could voice my opposition to every fringe position
And not just mewl and whine.
I could act a little stronger, be the Speaker so much longer
If I only had a spine.
                
                     ©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved

BP, BP (Parody of “Beep Beep by The Playmates)
(Very slowly)
BP, BP,
Why do they blame BP?
While drilling in the gulf one day
What to my surprise
The Deep Water Horizon
Blew up before my eyes
The workers tried to jump off the rig
And some were screaming in pain
There’s sadly eleven coffins, for those that did remain
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Slowly)
The oil gushed out of the well
The “failsafe” didn’t work
Tony Hayward thought it would
He said so with a smirk
“Perhaps Transocean should take more care
When they put together a rig” (BP)
But oil keeps on spilling and the gulf smells like a pig
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Normal speed)
Now the oil is starting to spread
It’s making quite a mess
And how the hell to stop it
Is really anyone’s guess
The fish and birds are dying
They wash up covered in goo
Too bad the corporate brain trust had no idea what to do
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Quickly)
Let’s try a new relief well
The geniuses did say
Besides the leak is not that bad
Just a million gallons a day
Hayward wants his life back
Shrimp and clam men are living in hell (BP)
Is there anyone in this whole world who knows how to cap a well?
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Very quickly)
Now they’re using skimmers
To clean up some of the crap
The big shots point their fingers
And none are taking the rap
The beaches all are empty, in the restaurants nary a soul
Please God isn’t there anyone
Who can plug this fucking hole!

                                  ©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved