'Tis the holiday season, let the rejoycing begin!
The Eight Days of Hanukkah
On the first day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
My condo in Miami Beach
On the second day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
2 Mercedes-Benz and my condo in Miami Beach
On the third day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
3 vacation homes, 2 Mercedes-Benz, and my condo in Miami Beach
On the forth day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
4 country clubs, 3 vacation homes, 2 Mercedes-Benz, and my condo in Miami Beach
On the fifth day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
5 million bucks (oy vey!), 4 country clubs, 3 vacation homes,2 Mercedes-Benz,
And my condo in Miami Beach
On the sixth day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
6 valets parking, 5 million bucks (oy vey!), 4 country clubs, 3 vacation homes,
2 Mercedes-Benz, and my condo in Miami Beach
On the seventh day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
7 pool boys cleaning, 6 valets parking, 5 million bucks (oy vey!), 4 country clubs,
3 vacation homes, 2 Mercedes-Benz, and my condo in Miami Beach
On the eighth day of Hanukkah, Madoff took from me
8 maids a-dusting, 7 pool boys cleaning, 6 valets parking, 5 million bucks (oy vey!),
4 country clubs, 3 vacation homes, 2 Mercedes-Benz,
And my condo in Miami Beach
(c)2010SquireMalloy.All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Korea (Parody of "Maria" from West Side Story)
It's the scariest country in the world
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea
They got nukes but we don't say a single word
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea
Korea
There's been an attack by Korea
It's really such a shame
We cannot blame Hussein
This time
Korea
Jong Il's the head nut in Korea
Jong Un is next in line
He may have a design
For war
Korea
Say it loud you can't hear the crying
Say it soft, you can hear people dying
Korea
There's been an attack by Korea
It's the scariest country in the world
Korea
(c)2010SquireMalloy.All Rights Reserved
It's the scariest country in the world
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea
They got nukes but we don't say a single word
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea
Korea
There's been an attack by Korea
It's really such a shame
We cannot blame Hussein
This time
Korea
Jong Il's the head nut in Korea
Jong Un is next in line
He may have a design
For war
Korea
Say it loud you can't hear the crying
Say it soft, you can hear people dying
Korea
There's been an attack by Korea
It's the scariest country in the world
Korea
(c)2010SquireMalloy.All Rights Reserved
Monday, November 22, 2010
Here's something for you ladies to get you psyched for Black Friday and the upcoming holiday shopping season.
The Squanderer (parody of the "Wanderer" by Dion)
Well I'm the type of gal who likes to shop around.
Wherever they take plastic, well you know that I'll be found
I flash 'em and I snap 'em 'cause to me they're all the same
I don't leave home without 'em, I know how to play the game
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
Well there's Visa on my left and Discover on my right
But Mastercard's the one that I'm gonna use tonight
And when they ask me which one I love the best
I tear open my purse and show the American Express
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
Well I roam from store to store
I go through life without a cent
And I'm as happy as a clown
With my cash advance you know I'm payin' the rent
Yeah I'm the type of gal who likes to spend it all
I'm never in one place, I go from mall to mall
And when I find myself runnin' short on green
I hop right into my car and hit the ATM machine
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
(c)2010 SquireMalloy.All Rights Reserved
The Squanderer (parody of the "Wanderer" by Dion)
Well I'm the type of gal who likes to shop around.
Wherever they take plastic, well you know that I'll be found
I flash 'em and I snap 'em 'cause to me they're all the same
I don't leave home without 'em, I know how to play the game
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
Well there's Visa on my left and Discover on my right
But Mastercard's the one that I'm gonna use tonight
And when they ask me which one I love the best
I tear open my purse and show the American Express
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
Well I roam from store to store
I go through life without a cent
And I'm as happy as a clown
With my cash advance you know I'm payin' the rent
Yeah I'm the type of gal who likes to spend it all
I'm never in one place, I go from mall to mall
And when I find myself runnin' short on green
I hop right into my car and hit the ATM machine
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
Cause I'm a squanderer, yeah a squanderer
I shop around, around, around, around
(c)2010 SquireMalloy.All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Here's some new stuff......
If I Only Had a Spine (The Harry Reid Theme song)
(Parody of “If I Only Had a Brain” from Wizard of Oz)
I could pass some legislation, without much hesitation
And everything’d be fine.
I could push it through the senate
Grab a vote from Hatch or Bennett
If I only had a spine.
I could be somewhat specific, yes that would be terrific
And our cause I could define.
With some guts you could do it
And not just muddle through it
If you only had a spine.
Oh, I could tell you why we need to do much more.
I’d probably not be such a wimpy bore
When I go out to take the floor
I could voice my opposition to every fringe position
And not just mewl and whine.
I could act a little stronger, be the Speaker so much longer
If I only had a spine.
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
BP, BP (Parody of “Beep Beep by The Playmates)
(Very slowly)
BP, BP,
Why do they blame BP?
While drilling in the gulf one day
What to my surprise
The Deep Water Horizon
Blew up before my eyes
The workers tried to jump off the rig
And some were screaming in pain
There’s sadly eleven coffins, for those that did remain
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Slowly)
The oil gushed out of the well
The “failsafe” didn’t work
Tony Hayward thought it would
He said so with a smirk
“Perhaps Transocean should take more care
When they put together a rig” (BP)
But oil keeps on spilling and the gulf smells like a pig
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Normal speed)
Now the oil is starting to spread
It’s making quite a mess
And how the hell to stop it
Is really anyone’s guess
The fish and birds are dying
They wash up covered in goo
Too bad the corporate brain trust had no idea what to do
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Quickly)
Let’s try a new relief well
The geniuses did say
Besides the leak is not that bad
Just a million gallons a day
Hayward wants his life back
Shrimp and clam men are living in hell (BP)
Is there anyone in this whole world who knows how to cap a well?
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Very quickly)
Now they’re using skimmers
To clean up some of the crap
The big shots point their fingers
And none are taking the rap
The beaches all are empty, in the restaurants nary a soul
Please God isn’t there anyone
Who can plug this fucking hole!
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
If I Only Had a Spine (The Harry Reid Theme song)
(Parody of “If I Only Had a Brain” from Wizard of Oz)
I could pass some legislation, without much hesitation
And everything’d be fine.
I could push it through the senate
Grab a vote from Hatch or Bennett
If I only had a spine.
I could be somewhat specific, yes that would be terrific
And our cause I could define.
With some guts you could do it
And not just muddle through it
If you only had a spine.
Oh, I could tell you why we need to do much more.
I’d probably not be such a wimpy bore
When I go out to take the floor
I could voice my opposition to every fringe position
And not just mewl and whine.
I could act a little stronger, be the Speaker so much longer
If I only had a spine.
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
BP, BP (Parody of “Beep Beep by The Playmates)
(Very slowly)
BP, BP,
Why do they blame BP?
While drilling in the gulf one day
What to my surprise
The Deep Water Horizon
Blew up before my eyes
The workers tried to jump off the rig
And some were screaming in pain
There’s sadly eleven coffins, for those that did remain
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Slowly)
The oil gushed out of the well
The “failsafe” didn’t work
Tony Hayward thought it would
He said so with a smirk
“Perhaps Transocean should take more care
When they put together a rig” (BP)
But oil keeps on spilling and the gulf smells like a pig
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Normal speed)
Now the oil is starting to spread
It’s making quite a mess
And how the hell to stop it
Is really anyone’s guess
The fish and birds are dying
They wash up covered in goo
Too bad the corporate brain trust had no idea what to do
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Quickly)
Let’s try a new relief well
The geniuses did say
Besides the leak is not that bad
Just a million gallons a day
Hayward wants his life back
Shrimp and clam men are living in hell (BP)
Is there anyone in this whole world who knows how to cap a well?
BP, BP, Why do they blame BP?
(Very quickly)
Now they’re using skimmers
To clean up some of the crap
The big shots point their fingers
And none are taking the rap
The beaches all are empty, in the restaurants nary a soul
Please God isn’t there anyone
Who can plug this fucking hole!
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
Monday, November 1, 2010
My name is Squire. I'll try to come up with something new every week or two for your entertainment. I'll also throw in some older material so you can get an idea of what I do.
I can't sing, but if you can, spread the stuff around and have fun with it. Feel free to use appropos ones for birthdays, roasts, parties, reunions, etc. Enjoy!
Here's a new one, followed by a fairly recent writing:
RUN ,RUN, RUN (Parody of “Fun, Fun, Fun” by the Beach Boys)
Well the new GOP was taken over
By a whole bunch of nuts now
And you better tow the line, that’s for sure
There’s no ifs ands or buts now
If you move to the center Momma Grizzly’s
Gonna rip out your guts now
And you can’t run ,run , run
Til McConnell takes the t-bags away
Used to be Republicans were sane
But they’re just of one mind now
Since the crazies took over
Well a moderate is sure in a bind now
And if you got half a brain
You’re gonna be hard to find now
Cause you can’t run, run, run,
Til McConnell takes the t-bags away
Well this coming election’s shaping up
As a really big race now
But some of the dolts they got running
Are a national disgrace now
I want a triple digit IQ
But I can’t seem to find a trace now
Cause they can’t run, run, run,
Til McConnell takes the t-bags away
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
TIGER, TIGER (Parody of “ The Tyger” By Blake)
Tiger, Tiger, not so bright
Should have kept your pants on tight
What immoral ass or thigh
Attracts your lusty leering eye?
Forsooth, what kind of model role
Puts his putz in any hole?
Instead of golfing with the pros
You used your club on seedy hos
What made you leave Elin at home?
Did you knock her up so you could roam?
Your poor wife’s world has gone to pot
What STDs has she now got?
Tiger, tiger, not so bright
How come your hos were always white?
So many girls within your vista
How come you never banged a sista?
\
And now you lie upon the street
With no golf shoes on your bare feet
Was it a 5 iron or a 3
Caused that errant drive into a tree?
Tiger, tiger not so bright
Should have kept your pants on tight
Accenture, Pepsi, and Gillette
Now think you are a real bad bet
But don’t despair as you lie there prone
Good news! Viagra’s on the phone!
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
I can't sing, but if you can, spread the stuff around and have fun with it. Feel free to use appropos ones for birthdays, roasts, parties, reunions, etc. Enjoy!
Here's a new one, followed by a fairly recent writing:
RUN ,RUN, RUN (Parody of “Fun, Fun, Fun” by the Beach Boys)
Well the new GOP was taken over
By a whole bunch of nuts now
And you better tow the line, that’s for sure
There’s no ifs ands or buts now
If you move to the center Momma Grizzly’s
Gonna rip out your guts now
And you can’t run ,run , run
Til McConnell takes the t-bags away
Used to be Republicans were sane
But they’re just of one mind now
Since the crazies took over
Well a moderate is sure in a bind now
And if you got half a brain
You’re gonna be hard to find now
Cause you can’t run, run, run,
Til McConnell takes the t-bags away
Well this coming election’s shaping up
As a really big race now
But some of the dolts they got running
Are a national disgrace now
I want a triple digit IQ
But I can’t seem to find a trace now
Cause they can’t run, run, run,
Til McConnell takes the t-bags away
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
TIGER, TIGER (Parody of “ The Tyger” By Blake)
Tiger, Tiger, not so bright
Should have kept your pants on tight
What immoral ass or thigh
Attracts your lusty leering eye?
Forsooth, what kind of model role
Puts his putz in any hole?
Instead of golfing with the pros
You used your club on seedy hos
What made you leave Elin at home?
Did you knock her up so you could roam?
Your poor wife’s world has gone to pot
What STDs has she now got?
Tiger, tiger, not so bright
How come your hos were always white?
So many girls within your vista
How come you never banged a sista?
\
And now you lie upon the street
With no golf shoes on your bare feet
Was it a 5 iron or a 3
Caused that errant drive into a tree?
Tiger, tiger not so bright
Should have kept your pants on tight
Accenture, Pepsi, and Gillette
Now think you are a real bad bet
But don’t despair as you lie there prone
Good news! Viagra’s on the phone!
©2010 Squire Malloy.All Rights Reserved
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