"Mitt Romney" Parody of " Moon River" by Andy Williams

Mitt Romney, such a winning smile
The South he must beguile, someday
No claim staker, no risk taker
Which way the wind's blowin', he's goin' that way

Two-sided, like a Janus face
He changes pace on every stop
Will born-agains view him askance?
Will they take a chance?
A Mormon helping France
Mitt Romney, flip-flop.

    SquireMalloy(c)2012All Rights Reserved

" No Money Down" (Parody of " Blow the Man Down")

No money down matey, no money down
Yo, ho, no money down
We gave him a mortgage so big that he’d drown
We sold him a house with no money down

He didn’t have work or a nickel to spare
Yo, ho, no money down
But we got our fees and that’s all that we care
We sold him a house with no money down

We bundled the mortgages to CDO’s
Yo, ho, no money down
What the hell they are well nobody knows
We sold him a house with no money down

Moodys was there to make profits look big
Yo, ho, no money down
They helped put the lipstick right onto that pig
We sold him a house with no money down

The fed chair said wing it so that’s what we chose
Yo, ho, no money down
With triple A ratings we smelled like a rose
We sold him a house with no money down

No money down matey, no money down
Yo, ho, no money down
We gave him a mortgage so big that he’d drown
We sold him a house with no money down

He can’t make the payments and feels like a clown
Yo, ho, no money down
A few more foreclosures and we’ll own the town
We sold him a house with no money down

It’s Twenty-eleven now money is tight
Yo, ho, we have skipped town
We won’t make a loan ‘cause it wouldn’t be right
And we don’t care how much you put down!

SquireMalloy2011(C)AllRights Reserved

Please forgive me for my parody paucity. I have been spending much time on a book "Swerving Down the Highway: Selected Reflections on the Golden Age of Drunken Driving",( Available on amazon and barnesandnoble.com.) which was recently published. I hope to be back in action soon. Thanks.

"Chris Christie" Parody of "Moon River" by Andy Williams. OKay, I've just used this song, but the first line was just too good to pass up here

Chris Christie, wider than a mile
You'll fit through a turnstile, someday
No matter, you opted not to run
New Jersey's much more fun, you say
You've thrown your weight behind the Mitt
Hey just think of it, your team could be a hit
Chris Christie, VP!

Two Yankees, out to win the South
But one has a big mouth, you see
A Mormon and a Catholic Wop
In Dixieland they're sure to flop
The rebels just don't like their kind
It's Rick who they're behind, Christians of one mind
Chris Christie, R.I.P.!

  Squire Malloy2011(c) All Rights Reserved

Cain Wins Florida Straw Poll!

We interrupt our parodies here to report a shocking upset in Florida, where Herman Cain has won the Straw Poll! Here is one headline and some follow up articles from a prominent U.S. newspaper.

Cain " SHINES" in Sunshine State!  Perry, Romney, Bachmann pale by comparison.

Big Tent expands! Adds servants quarters.

Cain victory further muddies Republican primary. Will Florida Straw Poll results color GOP race?

"Rick Perry" (Parody of "Moon River" by Andy Williams

Rick Perry, crazy as can be
He doesn’t make much sense to me
"World warming’s just a pack of lies"
While Dallas boils at 1-0-5
He said that he wants to secede
It’s pretty much agreed, he must be off his feed
Rick Perry, hayseed

Rick Perry, foaming at the mouth
Another genius from the South
"Bernanke oughta get the chair"
It strikes me as a tad unfair
He wants Darwin out of the school
Creationism’s cool, the Bible has to rule
Rick Perry, a fool

SquireMalloy2011(c)All Rights Reserved

"Bachmann in the U.S.S.R." (Parody of " Back in the U.S.S.R." by The Beatles Candidate Bachmann recently made reference to the threat posed by the U.S.S.R. The clear and present danger from the Holy Roman Empire was oddly not mentioned

Flew in from the heartland on my corporate jet
Had to do my Christian thing
Packed up all my speeches and my talking points
My brain’s all I forgot to bring
I’m Bachmann in the U.S.S.R.
You know how stupid I are, boys
Bachmann in the U.S.S.R.

They went out of business 20 years ago
Must have missed the news that day
Watching all those foster kids is quite a chore
Besides, I need some time to pray
I’m Bachmann in the U.S.S.R.
You know how stupid I are, boys
Bachmann in the U.S.
Bachmann in the U.S.
Bachmann in the U.S.S.R.

Well I may have screwed up on Elvis’ birth
Some facts are hard to find
But neo-cons only love me more
Because it helps to prove I’m out of my mmmmmind
　
Take me North to Concord with the mountains white
Let me do my Tea-bag spin
Lookin’ for a statue of that Paul Revere
Don’t even know what state I’m in
I’m Bachmann in the U.S.S.R.
You know how stupid I are, boys
Bachmann in the U.S.S.R.

Squire Malloy2011.(c)All Rights Reserved