"New SeeAlice ad"
She used to inspire and turn you on, there's no question about that.  But 30 years and 50 pounds later, not so much, and that could be the real reason for your erectile dysfunction. So what do you do? Why not do what I do, and  go see Alice?
     Why Alice, you ask? Because Alice is  a young,  buxom, long-legged stripper/hooker who works at my neighborhood gogo bar. I go see Alice all the time now. Sometimes, actually almost every time I see Alice, I get an erection that lasts 4 hours or more . Ads on TV ads told me to call my doctor if this happened, and I did. Now my doctor goes to see Alice 2 or 3  times a week himself.
     Side effects when you see Alice may include a total lack of interest in anything your wife says or does, the need to see Alice frequently and urgently , and the need to work a second job to be able to afford continuing to see Alice.
     Seeing Alice is not for everyone. Going to see Alice may cause an unsafe drop in your checking and savings accounts. Ask your financial adviser if going to see Alice is right for you.