If Ever I Should Study

This parody was written during my college days and reflects my lack of enthusiasm for higher learning.  Fathers Lawlor and O'Grady were theology teachers.  Father Fallon taught sociology, Mr. Fiekers chemistry, and Mr. Boursey German.
 I had a great time singing this song at my last school reunion.  Perhaps you could just plug in the names of your teachers and have some fun with this at your next high school or college gathering.

If Ever I Should Study(Parody of "If Ever I Would Leave You")by Robert Goulet

If ever I should study, how could it be for Lawlor?
Studying for Lawlor is just wasted time
The lectures are boring, the parables trite
The text is a joke book, any fool could write

If ever I should study, how could it be mathematics?
Following fanatics like Euclid and Boole
Subtraction is taxing, calc nobody knows
I need a computer, just to count my toes

And when I try to take a test it’s such a crime
I find it difficult enough just to pass the time

If ever I should study, how could it be for Fiekers?
Filling up those beakers with what I don’t know
I still can remember, when we blew up the lab
A third of our classmates wound up on the slab

If ever I should study, how could it be for Boursey?
Trouble was of course he could not understand
There’s no need to know German, I won’t travel that far
They’re all speaking English, since we won the war

Father O’Grady taught religion with such flair
It was no wonder that we named him the "dancing bear"

If ever I should study, how could it be for Fallon?
Social work is something you do at a bar!
Oh no I won’t study, neither Spring term nor Fall
No never will I study, at all!


(c)2010Squire Malloy. All Rights Reserved