"Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis" Parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" by Julie Andrews. Presidential candidate Rick Sanatorium has been making some very forthright statements since moving to the head of the Republican field.(ie. That the President's religion is not based on the Bible; Duh, its the Koran). But at least his seemingly total dismissal of women's issues assures me that, if elected, the Bible is the book HE will use when trying to make the correct decisions for the men of this country. Hold onto your long skirts ladies, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

When trying to express himself, Rick's arguments sound weak
That shouldn't be, because the Holy Spirit helps him speak
He has no use for women, in the kitchen they should stay
He sounds just like a Muslim, but at least he isn't gay!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
Nothing in the Good Book says we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

When Stone Age men walked on the earth six thousand years ago
It's fortunate they didn't use un-godly birth control
None of us would be here now and that would be a shame
We wouldn't even have Barak Obama we could blame!

Oh!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
Nothing in the Good Book says we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

Rick does some consulting "work", he makes a mil a year
But most of us don't make that much and never will, I fear
Rick thinks moms should stay at home and teach the Golden Rule
Tell us how we'll make it on one salary, you fool!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
Nothing in the Good Book says we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

Women ought to stay at home and serve our manly needs
Mostly in the bedroom, to fertilize our seeds
The good Lord only made them for the children they could bear
Let's just keep them pregnant so they'll stay out of our hair!

Women are receptacles, the Bible tells us so
Through history their status has remained extremely low
Rick's afraid pre-natal care will elevate their worth
Who cares if they live or die, as long as they give birth!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
It's not in the Good Book that we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
　

"Put Whitey Back in the White House" Parody of "Give Ireland Back to the Irish" by Paul McCartney Some want President Obama gone for many reasons including, but not limited to, his being a socialist, nazi, muslim, fascist, illegal alien, anti-business(check your 401k for proof), racist, lying, gay blond woman.

Put Whitey back in the White House
For this, O Lord, I kneel and I pray
Put Whitey back in the White House
Avenge the stalwart men who wore Gray

Obama, you're an okay guy
Let's just say you're not half bad
But seeing you in that mansion
Really makes me mad

Okay, let me rephrase that
Don't take me the wrong way
If you'd just serve in the Cabinet
Or the kitchen, or the cloakroom
Then perhaps I'd let you stay

Put Whitey back in the White House
For this, O Lord, I kneel and I pray
Put Whitey back in the White House
Avenge the stalwart men who wore Gray

The Tea Party revolution
Needs to really look within
Hold your nose and go for Romney
Mitt's got much less melanin

Just imagine you're a voter
And you're choice is still in doubt
I beg you do the "Right" thing
It don't matter, the opponent
Just get that Black guy out!

Put Whitey back in the White House
For this, O Lord, I kneel and I pray
Put Whitey back in the White House
Avenge the stalwart men who wore Gray
　
　

"Simply Unelectable" Parody of " Simply Irresistable" by Robert Palmer. If George Will or Bob Dole try to take credit for this, they will hear from my lawyers.

How can it be permissible
He has no moral principle,yeah yeah
His Reagan ties are mythical
He's uber-hypocritical
Yesteryear I'd endorse, he was a powerful force
But I can't back him now, 'cause the boy's run his course
He used to look good to me, but now I find him

Simply unelectable
Simply unelectable

His pompousness is palpable, huh
His arguments are laughable
The " Speaker's" now unspeakable
He's eminently beatable

He's broken the law, he's a man I abhor
He deserves the abuse, he's become so obtuse
He used to look good to me , but now I find him

Simply unelectable
Simply unelectable

(Simply unelectable) He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go

He's a chameleon, he switches wives at will
He's so damn smarmy that he gives my bones a chill
He changed religions 'cause the Pope gave him a thrill
He used to look good to me , but now I find him

Simply unelectable
He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go

His haughtiness is visible
His ethics unacceptable
His countenance is risible, huh
He's overtly dismissible

Yesteryear I'd endorse, he was a powerful force
But I can't back him now, 'cause the boy's run his course
He used to look good to me, but now I find him

Simply unelectable
Simply unelectable

He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go
He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go

Simply unelectable

SquireMalloy(c)2012All Rights Reserved

"Mitt Romney" Parody of " Moon River" by Andy Williams

Mitt Romney, such a winning smile
The South he must beguile, someday
No claim staker, no risk taker
Which way the wind's blowin', he's goin' that way

Two-sided, like a Janus face
He changes pace on every stop
Will born-agains view him askance?
Will they take a chance?
A Mormon helping France
Mitt Romney, flip-flop.

    SquireMalloy(c)2012All Rights Reserved

" No Money Down" (Parody of " Blow the Man Down")

No money down matey, no money down
Yo, ho, no money down
We gave him a mortgage so big that he’d drown
We sold him a house with no money down

He didn’t have work or a nickel to spare
Yo, ho, no money down
But we got our fees and that’s all that we care
We sold him a house with no money down

We bundled the mortgages to CDO’s
Yo, ho, no money down
What the hell they are well nobody knows
We sold him a house with no money down

Moodys was there to make profits look big
Yo, ho, no money down
They helped put the lipstick right onto that pig
We sold him a house with no money down

The fed chair said wing it so that’s what we chose
Yo, ho, no money down
With triple A ratings we smelled like a rose
We sold him a house with no money down

No money down matey, no money down
Yo, ho, no money down
We gave him a mortgage so big that he’d drown
We sold him a house with no money down

He can’t make the payments and feels like a clown
Yo, ho, no money down
A few more foreclosures and we’ll own the town
We sold him a house with no money down

It’s Twenty-eleven now money is tight
Yo, ho, we have skipped town
We won’t make a loan ‘cause it wouldn’t be right
And we don’t care how much you put down!

SquireMalloy2011(C)AllRights Reserved

Please forgive me for my parody paucity. I have been spending much time on a book "Swerving Down the Highway: Selected Reflections on the Golden Age of Drunken Driving",( Available on amazon and barnesandnoble.com.) which was recently published. I hope to be back in action soon. Thanks.

"Chris Christie" Parody of "Moon River" by Andy Williams. OKay, I've just used this song, but the first line was just too good to pass up here

Chris Christie, wider than a mile
You'll fit through a turnstile, someday
No matter, you opted not to run
New Jersey's much more fun, you say
You've thrown your weight behind the Mitt
Hey just think of it, your team could be a hit
Chris Christie, VP!

Two Yankees, out to win the South
But one has a big mouth, you see
A Mormon and a Catholic Wop
In Dixieland they're sure to flop
The rebels just don't like their kind
It's Rick who they're behind, Christians of one mind
Chris Christie, R.I.P.!

  Squire Malloy2011(c) All Rights Reserved