"New SeeAlice ad"
She used to inspire and turn you on, there's no question about that.  But 30 years and 50 pounds later, not so much, and that could be the real reason for your erectile dysfunction. So what do you do? Why not do what I do, and  go see Alice?
     Why Alice, you ask? Because Alice is  a young,  buxom, long-legged stripper/hooker who works at my neighborhood gogo bar. I go see Alice all the time now. Sometimes, actually almost every time I see Alice, I get an erection that lasts 4 hours or more . Ads on TV ads told me to call my doctor if this happened, and I did. Now my doctor goes to see Alice 2 or 3  times a week himself.
     Side effects when you see Alice may include a total lack of interest in anything your wife says or does, the need to see Alice frequently and urgently , and the need to work a second job to be able to afford continuing to see Alice.
     Seeing Alice is not for everyone. Going to see Alice may cause an unsafe drop in your checking and savings accounts. Ask your financial adviser if going to see Alice is right for you.

"Secret Service Man" Parody of "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers

 

There’s a man who puts the Chief in danger
To ladies of the night he’s not a stranger
With every trip he takes, another babe he makes
Odds are he’ll be unemployed tomorrow

Secret Service man, Secret Service man
Well she’s given you a boner
Now you gotta take the blame

Mix your work and play if so inclined
Enjoy yourself while slapping her behind
But don’t argue ‘bout her pay
You could lose your job that way
Odds are you’ll be unemployed tomorrow

Secret Service man, Secret service man
Well she’s given you a boner
Now you gotta take the blame

At a bar in Cartagena one day
Then in the bosses office at the next day
You watched those swerving hips
And kissed those ruby lips
Odds are you’ll be unemployed tomorrow

Secret Service man, Secret Service man
Well she’s given you a boner
Now you gotta take the blame

Secret Service man

"Rush" Parody of "Hush" by Deep Purple. By the way Rush, sluts did it for free when I was growing up. Has that changed?

There's a certain little girl, you called her a slut
Just what I'd expect from a face like a butt
She's got more class than you ever had
Independent women make you feel so bad

Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na

Hush, Rush, I thought I heard you call her a name now
Hush, Rush, she's not a feminazi but you treat 'em all the same now
Hush, Rush, I thought I heard you call her a name now
Hush, Rush, perhaps the oxycodone rotted your brain now

Love, love, you're working on your 4th wife
Love, love, do you even have a sex life?
Love, Love, if the viagra's really helping
Love, love, how come you got no offspring?

You're a low-life, there is no doubt
It's no Fluke your sponsors bailed out
So you decided it's time to atone
You already lost Quicken and Auto Zone

Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na

Hush, Rush, I thought I heard you call her a name now
Hush, Rush, she's not a feminazi but you treat 'em all the same now
Hush, Rush, I thought I heard you call her a name now
Hush, Rush, perhaps the oxycodone rotted your brain now

Love, love, you're working on your 4th wife
Love, love, do you even have a sex life?
Love, love, if your member ever does grow
Love, love, please God don't stream the video!

Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na

"Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis" Parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" by Julie Andrews. Presidential candidate Rick Sanatorium has been making some very forthright statements since moving to the head of the Republican field.(ie. That the President's religion is not based on the Bible; Duh, its the Koran). But at least his seemingly total dismissal of women's issues assures me that, if elected, the Bible is the book HE will use when trying to make the correct decisions for the men of this country. Hold onto your long skirts ladies, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

When trying to express himself, Rick's arguments sound weak
That shouldn't be, because the Holy Spirit helps him speak
He has no use for women, in the kitchen they should stay
He sounds just like a Muslim, but at least he isn't gay!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
Nothing in the Good Book says we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

When Stone Age men walked on the earth six thousand years ago
It's fortunate they didn't use un-godly birth control
None of us would be here now and that would be a shame
We wouldn't even have Barak Obama we could blame!

Oh!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
Nothing in the Good Book says we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

Rick does some consulting "work", he makes a mil a year
But most of us don't make that much and never will, I fear
Rick thinks moms should stay at home and teach the Golden Rule
Tell us how we'll make it on one salary, you fool!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
Nothing in the Good Book says we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye

Women ought to stay at home and serve our manly needs
Mostly in the bedroom, to fertilize our seeds
The good Lord only made them for the children they could bear
Let's just keep them pregnant so they'll stay out of our hair!

Women are receptacles, the Bible tells us so
Through history their status has remained extremely low
Rick's afraid pre-natal care will elevate their worth
Who cares if they live or die, as long as they give birth!

Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
And he knows that evolution's not a valid thesis
It's not in the Good Book that we're cousins of a rhesus
Rickdon'twannaletherhavenoamniocentesis
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle aye
　

"Put Whitey Back in the White House" Parody of "Give Ireland Back to the Irish" by Paul McCartney Some want President Obama gone for many reasons including, but not limited to, his being a socialist, nazi, muslim, fascist, illegal alien, anti-business(check your 401k for proof), racist, lying, gay blond woman.

Put Whitey back in the White House
For this, O Lord, I kneel and I pray
Put Whitey back in the White House
Avenge the stalwart men who wore Gray

Obama, you're an okay guy
Let's just say you're not half bad
But seeing you in that mansion
Really makes me mad

Okay, let me rephrase that
Don't take me the wrong way
If you'd just serve in the Cabinet
Or the kitchen, or the cloakroom
Then perhaps I'd let you stay

Put Whitey back in the White House
For this, O Lord, I kneel and I pray
Put Whitey back in the White House
Avenge the stalwart men who wore Gray

The Tea Party revolution
Needs to really look within
Hold your nose and go for Romney
Mitt's got much less melanin

Just imagine you're a voter
And you're choice is still in doubt
I beg you do the "Right" thing
It don't matter, the opponent
Just get that Black guy out!

Put Whitey back in the White House
For this, O Lord, I kneel and I pray
Put Whitey back in the White House
Avenge the stalwart men who wore Gray
　
　

"Simply Unelectable" Parody of " Simply Irresistable" by Robert Palmer. If George Will or Bob Dole try to take credit for this, they will hear from my lawyers.

How can it be permissible
He has no moral principle,yeah yeah
His Reagan ties are mythical
He's uber-hypocritical
Yesteryear I'd endorse, he was a powerful force
But I can't back him now, 'cause the boy's run his course
He used to look good to me, but now I find him

Simply unelectable
Simply unelectable

His pompousness is palpable, huh
His arguments are laughable
The " Speaker's" now unspeakable
He's eminently beatable

He's broken the law, he's a man I abhor
He deserves the abuse, he's become so obtuse
He used to look good to me , but now I find him

Simply unelectable
Simply unelectable

(Simply unelectable) He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go

He's a chameleon, he switches wives at will
He's so damn smarmy that he gives my bones a chill
He changed religions 'cause the Pope gave him a thrill
He used to look good to me , but now I find him

Simply unelectable
He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go

His haughtiness is visible
His ethics unacceptable
His countenance is risible, huh
He's overtly dismissible

Yesteryear I'd endorse, he was a powerful force
But I can't back him now, 'cause the boy's run his course
He used to look good to me, but now I find him

Simply unelectable
Simply unelectable

He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go
He's so lyin', he's not tellin' whence the money came
(Simply unelectable) He's denyin' lobbyin's the way he used to go

Simply unelectable

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